In an effort to maintain a healthy, loving and long relationship with your nanny, its important to start the relationship off right and to care for your nanny throughout your relationship. Here are some tips!
1. Encourage your nanny to attend a nanny support group. Your nanny needs an outlet and it can really help them to process their experiences with other nannies who are having similar experiences.
2. Always have a daily check-in but certainly have a 6 month and annual check-in about overall job satisfaction and experiences.
3. Value your nanny: Remember important anniversary dates: birthdays and date of hire. Celebrate & acknowledge these dates.
4. When you travel longer than a regular work week, utilize hotel sitters to give your nanny some respite.
5. When your nanny first shows up to your house for employment, welcome her into your family. Decorate her room, bake a cake, have a special dinner. Make sure the children are included!
6. Reward your nanny when they do something that stands out.
7. Treat your nanny as part of the co-parent team
8. Don’t assume, always inquire. Consult with professionals when issues arise. Don’t jump to conclusions!
9. Offer Benefits such as – medical/dental, cell phone, occasional paid day off. Plan for an annual raise and holiday bonus.
10. Use language that empowers and educates your nanny – avoid language that is shaming or judgmental.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Top 10 Ways to Care for your Nanny
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Nanny Doctor's BETTER.TV interview!
I'm very excited to share the first of two Better TV interviews with you. Follow the link to the video!
Better.TV
And here is the rest of it.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Monday, December 24, 2007
Your Nanny and Their Holiday Bonus
Do you value your nanny and all that they do for you and your family throughout the year? Thinking about that holiday bonus but don’t know exactly how much? Or perhaps you don’t want to give cash and you want to give a gift?
There are truly no standards when it comes to giving your nanny a holiday bonus. In fact, there is quite a range when it comes to families rewarding their nanny for their hard work and dedication over the past year. I have seen everything from restaurant gift cards to 2 week all inclusive paid holiday vacations to the Caribbean for the nanny and her family with use of the family’s private jet and crew! Just like many other aspects of your relationship with your nanny, you need to find what fits for your family, both financially and in a practical sense. Traditionally, the year-end bonus is a cash bonus equivalent to two weeks pay. Some families may opt for a full month’s salary for a holiday bonus. This option is usually reserved for nannies who have been in your employ for at least 2-5 years. Ultimately it is up to you to determine what you are most comfortable giving as a bonus.
Our nanny’s annual hire date is in December, do we need to give them an annual raise and a bonus?
Well, as always a bonus is up to your discretion, however, it is customary to give a holiday bonus of some kind. That said, the annual raise and the holiday bonus should be two separate issues and one should not be substituted for the other.
What do I do if we just hired our new nanny a month ago?
In these cases, I have commonly seen families pay their new nannies for 1 days pay for each month that they have been employed. For example, if your nanny starts at the beginning of November, you would provide him/her with a bonus equivalent to two days pay.
Should my children give our nanny a gift?
Yes. Not only do you model the spirit of giving for your child, but you allow your child to think about how much they value their nanny. This gift should be what the child wants to give the nanny. If they are too young, you may want to provide a framed photo of the nanny with your child, or if they are old enough, your child may want to create a picture. Regardless, it should be meaningful and unique to your child and nanny. Making this gift personalized and special will improve the quality of your relationship with your nanny. They will feel more connected to your family and this will trickle down to feeling more connected to your child.
What if we have had difficulty with our nanny recently? Do we still need to giver her a bonus?
Well, yes and no, it depends on your situation. When thinking about the holiday bonus, you want to review the entire year with your nanny, and become aware of a “recency effect” - where you decide on a bonus based on recent job performance. Also, I would urge you if you had not done so to take this time to review his/her performance and really gather an understanding of what their perception of their job performance has been. This models good communication and also helps refocus both you and your nanny for the New Year!
This year, finances are a little tough. What can we do if we do not want to offend our nanny and want to show her we value her, but we can’t afford to pay 2 weeks salary as a bonus?
Gifts such as restaurant gift cards allow your nanny to spend a nice meal with her family. Some families opt to either pay for or at least subsidize their nannies plane ticket back to their country of origin to see their family. Nannies just like moms like to be pampered and a spa gift card can be just what the doctor ordered. To make a spa gift card go even further, in addition to giving the gift card, you can allow them to go on a day they would normally be working for you. In the case, that you can not afford to pay a bonus or give a gift, you may always give them paid days off during this time.
Preventing Potential Disaster: Collaborating with Your Nanny Agency
Armed with your family’s needs list and job description it’s time to approach your nanny agency. There are many benefits of utilizing an agency to find your family’s new nanny.
First and foremost, an agency, especially one that is a member of an industry association such as the International Nanny Association, is made up of professionals well-versed in this process. This piece in and in itself is invaluable. Often nanny agencies have been started by former nannies who know the industry inside and out. Hiring a nanny agency saves you significant time and effort by prescreening applicants. They meet with prospective applicants in person, review resumes, help the nanny narrow down what they need and want, all in the best interest of helping you to find the right match! They complete background checks, gather pertinent information such as driving records, TB test results, and reference checks. They can also provide you with tax and payroll information as well as resources to provide ongoing support once you have found the right nanny.
The prescreening process also means you won’t be inundated with resumes. A good nanny agency only sends you the most appropriate applicants for your family, not a copy of every resume they receive. Once you receive resumes of potential applicants from the agency, you will spend some time reviewing those resumes to decide whom you think is appropriate for your family to interview. Your nanny agency will be available during this time to discuss the details of these potential applicants as well.
The interview process is one that can bring up a lot of feelings. As a parent you want so much to find the right nanny for your child, however, these feelings, if not identified and addressed, could inhibit you from finding the right person. You may be feeling fearful about having someone else care for your newborn, or you may be overwhelmed at the thought of using alternative resources to help you find your nanny. Due to your family’s schedule, you may feel pressed to go with the first applicant you interview. Or your family may still be recovering from the departure of your last nanny. These are all common experiences that if not properly addressed, may effect your ability to find the right nanny for your family.
As The Nanny Doctor – both a licensed clinical psychologist and former nanny of 10 years – I cannot stress enough the importance of developing your family’s needs list and job description. These two documents will guide both you and your nanny agency through the interview process. Your agency will be better equipped to identify potential applicants, and you will be much more aware of what your family needs.
After you narrow down the potential applicants, your nanny agency will take steps to set up interviews for you with the applicants in your home. It is incredibly important that you prepare for these interviews. I know it’s tough when you have a baby to feed and kindergartner to drop off and a house to run, but the time spent preparing for the interview can be priceless. That time spent screening out potential problematic applicants will save you time down the road. If you can, find time at night after the children are in bed to review your interview questions. If you don’t have time, I recommend you seek out help from a professional who is knowledgeable of this step. Failing to ask the right interview questions could result in a failed match. All to often I see families who become engaged in conflict with their nanny over an issue that could have easily been avoided if only it had been asked about during the interview.
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